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Nice French Desserts

by Tim Vigilante

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1.
Call of the Void 00:58
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the call of the void, she explained to me, sitting on the edge of a cliff, is when you look down and you think of jumping and you bite back against your impulse--that's all it is, the call of the void, reaffirming the will to go forward. and i thought, "every time i am challenged, hurt, invaded or threatened by you, and every time you are worried by or reminded of someone else by me, there is the choice to jump, but it is worth far more to press on."
2.
I'm a Frog (Explicit) 04:29
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Maybe you were high then The first time we met Maybe you'd had a bad day And it was all just in my head Can't get enough proof To believe you exist Can't get enough truth To realize I'm full of shit Soon enough I know that I'll have to prove you wrong Soon I know you'll look at me and you'll realize I'm a frog And I think you need some medication I think you need to find some help Get yourself a strong prescription And tell me you meant someone else, Oh tell me you meant someone else, Tell me you meant anyone else. It's great you say you like me But really are you okay? Did you fall and hit your head or something? Are you with the CIA? And I like you a lot too, I guess there's no need to say But that's the scariest part of it That your feeling the same way Soon enough I know that I'll have to prove you wrong Soon I know you'll look at me and you'll realize I'm a frog And I think you need some medication I think you need to find some help Get yourself a strong prescription And tell me you meant someone else, Oh tell me you meant someone else, Tell me you meant anyone else.
3.
Scenic Route 04:06
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I wanna take the scenic route Down to the end of town And in some great castle's shadow, I wanna watch your hair hang down From no matter how far away Somehow my hometowns still too loud But together jump into the river, Maybe escape the sound Ooh, look we've been cut open Under their looking glass But by the time our flights are over It will all be in the past It'll be in the past. I wrote the words before I knew Or even saw the best of you I wanna find a hideaway Before the past it runs us through If it catches up to us I don't know what we will do But maybe with a bit of holy water The songs been born anew Ooh, look we've been cut open Under their looking glass But by the time our flights are over It will all be in the past It'll be in the past. So I wanna find a scenic route That can shoot right past the clouds I wanna breath them in Taste your spirit and breath it out From inside of my crystal coffin Somehow I can't say it out loud But I know that I dreamed about you, Baby I just don't know...
4.
Nice French Desserts 03:39
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How Do you get to be, So damn sweet Even just unconsciously? My missing piece, it's something Loud When you're next to me A roaring blinding peace A forest of dreams between, Yes that's what you are, you're a Dream How else could it be, An impossibility I must be asleep inside a hospital, I'm drunk out on a beach But I love you, whoever the hell you are. How Am I supposed to speak Secretly When you're next to me, I'm a goddamn creep, I'm too Proud To confess to you, But the way you move I didn't think I could hold it in An untamed tongue will surely sin, I'm too Loud For a girl like her, Who seems so damn mature, She's got a damn caruhr Me I'm not so sure, but I'll Say Eventually, I've got a crush on her, It's something more than words Something more than words I'll take that girl Out for some Nice French Desserts (What?) Cause I love her, whoever the hell she is. Yes I love you, whoever the hell you are.
5.
Five Minutes Ago 04:18
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Almost as much as your smile I loved the shadows around it: The curvature of your skull Underneath your cheeks; The reflections of sunlight, Coming from your skin; The glistening sweat And the pulsing blood underneath. The smile and its shadow, Holding one another In a solemn repose, So that when you smiled, It seemed instead you spoke. Five minutes ago I saw you for the first time And that was all I needed All I needed to decide I told myself you'd go and disappear, It'd be the last time I'd ever see you here And I still remembered your smile But by night time I'd forgotten your name I've got a dozen unfinished love songs just for you I've got at least a hundred stories I could end with you I've got a hundred thousand seconds I could spend with you If only I remembered your name, if only I remembered your name One week after that You stopped by and said hello I thought you looked familiar And I tried to remember who you were Soon enough it all came back And I realized we'd already met I asked for your name again And you told me But somehow I still forgot I've got a dozen unfinished love songs just for you I've got at least a hundred stories I could end with you I've got a hundred thousand seconds I could spend with you If only I remembered your name, if only I remembered your name The next week I was heading to class I was just a little bit high I saw you there on the couch And I couldn't let you pass me by We talked the whole week through I realized that you could be the one I loved every single thing that you said to me But no, I didn't know your name. But no, I didn't know your name No, I didn't know your name I didn't know your name I didn't know your name If only I remembered your name.
6.
Heavenly Blue 04:52
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Heavenly blue, Stare at the ceiling and it's staring at you Stomach still shaking, I'm still waiting for you Down in the gardens and Up on the moon Hope for the harvest and If it's too soon The nighttime paints you grey and white and Heavenly blue I see the cracks in its armor I see the faults in my own I see the specks in your eyelids And my own logs overgrown Heavenly blue, Ripped out the pages and I threw them to you Dancing like angels and Up to the moon, Swept up these skeletons and I Dreamed about you Climbing up mountains and Dancing a tune All of the cities painted grey and white and Heavenly blue I see the cracks in its armor I see the faults in my own I see the specks in your eyelids And my own logs overgrown Heavenly blue Down in the gardens and up on the moon Hope for the harvest and if it's too soon All of the cities painted grey and white and Heavenly blue
7.
She Spoke/The New World 04:16
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She spoke A single word And all the poems That I stumbled to articulate Came loose Like a landslide. She spoke, Parted her lips and All of my vocabulary lessons From AP English, All of my attempts to piece together A poem, or something close Seemed senseless In comparison. She spoke, And how clearly, How cogently she did so, Profound as oceans And clear as a highway at two AM, Yet would never call herself a poet. In this boat Handsome and oaken Curved like tears Or open hands, Only myself And you alone Can fit. (Though perhaps Your cat can come as well If she is so inclined.) Setting oars to ocean To chart the islands of our minds, From these crumpled coasts Where we lived in bondage. Sing to me your dreams Of the coming voyage, Remember these in your reveries, And diaries and poems, How we paddled to the summer's edge Until we stumbled onto dry land, The faces and dangers and treasures, Of undiscovered continents. I promised you as the beaches loomed, And the voyage seemed to near its end I loved you on the sea, I will love you in the New World.
8.
No One Else 02:52
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I just wanna talk to you And no one else I just wanna leave these fears Up on their shelf Hear about what's running through your head Listen to your stories hold your hand I just wanna talk to you No, no one else Not a single soul around All by ourselves Forget about what happened to our friends, Enemies, professors and the rest I wanna give my best to you I just wanna walk with you No one else I just wanna walk with you Even by myself Hold you in my heart when you're far away Dream of you even when I'm still awake I just wanna walk with you Screw everyone else I just wanna break away And by myself Any other way would be a waste You and me far off in our hiding place I wanna give my best to you
9.
Firecloud 05:01
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If I ever had a time For a poem It was now, That I sit on my porch step, Watching the last year Roll by me like an avalanche, And though I know I'm blinded I still see those mushroom clouds On the back of my eyelids, Overturning boats And uprooting islands. I remember the bomb, And how it made acquaintances Best friends, And how hastily it made me speak, To promise life When really I was only hanging on To the same lifeboat. Everything seemed petty After the bomb, And so it was: petty. Our landfall, When we became enemies, And they took their things And departed me. Here I see it burning, An almighty firecloud, Swinging wide the gates and Stupefying suburbs, A sideways tsunami, Turning over and over and Igniting with the propensities of dust, Toying with the windchimes Inside of my windows, telling me Stories about itself Along the shapes I made for it, Drifting between the lines and Bleeding across the containers I had constructed Its first kiss; ecstatic disaster, The rain cuts through and I run for the exit. I want to love, With all the pain and poetry That I have left In my bloodstream. I want to love her As a desert and a sandstorm And a monster Simultaneously. I want to love her In a world without emotion, On the dissection slides And cable ties of her memory I want to love her Inside of every sinking ship Across every single ocean That I've ever died in. I want to love her In all of my secret compartments In my darket hours, and To know Why, But from here within These poems, United in trembling like worms digging out from in me A thousand proverbs Written in tongues From the scraps of an odyssey, All of the frightened devils Uprooted in exodus And discarded, and I scream to myself "How did these arrows get through to you?" All of these daggers, And knives, And harpoons, Past your miles of trenches, Stone walls and secret defenses To wound you? Or else was the wrath of God Self-inflicted surgery, Trying to mend our perfect forms, Immunities and resistances To the magic of being born. These clothes sewn together still seem to be torn. I hope she knows When she touches me She's getting blood all over Opening up and unsettling Wounds and cuts Each totally invisible Running over me and Taking me under, Breaking down a thousand Of my fences and my delusions Like a phantom planet Taking away my atmosphere. I hope she knows that When I love her, I do so Impossibly with A thousand words and warnings Flashing on my screen. Even as I long for her, I dread with horror that she will become Another layer of scar tissue, another name That I can't stop saying, Another topic of conversation For my family to avoid. And I hope she knows that She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen or felt or Imagined or dreamed of, And she is a waking angel. She looks like she wants to devour me, She comes down in clouds Like an infinite storm And tells me I'm a person, And surrounds and Plays the windchimes hanging from my windows I wish she could see What these poems look like Before they turn into words, Like hurricanes made of solid stone Like explosions ten stories underwater, The pictures I want to paint Behind the simplicity of Even pronouns, the meaning of You, I, verbs like hold or kiss or be, In conjunction and/or/but Really, written down to keep my sanity Since survival got the best of me My halloweens; birthdays and anniversaries, Days and seconds I remember, But know everyone else forgot. I bet she thinks I'm too practiced But I'm not.
10.
What are you doing tonight? (Explicit) 03:26
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Spread through my lungs Swept like cyanide, Almond arms, Candle-karmic, Dripping with saccharine, Venomous penance, Aloof without sacrifice, Peeling apart answers And casting animals out of trainwrecks Hoping for lottery white riches raining down on me Bought but not sold to no empire's destiny, Holding out emptiness underneath the rain from your balcony Hold on to me dear, Or at least what they've left of me. The price of our freedom, our youth, The price of our youth likewise, In the end we are left clamoring For any piece of their bread, Working out limericks and lyrics To burn for the winter, our faces turning red From our drunkeness, Embarrassment. I wanna grow old with you Never cold with you Never run through the rat race Suburban circuit strip malls with you Never hold like you're just a thing to lose, Burn this new atomic energy Lurking in the depths of this poetry, Collide bricks of buildings and split gluons Folding energy into energy Love you like antimatter, Collide and clash and fold together, New universes Make love like proton bombardment Cascade into isotopes and ashes I wanna go nuclear, I wanna be radicalized I wanna be negotiated with On behalf of public tranquility Or else I don't wanna be woke up What's the point of seeing our problems If we never give a fuck? I don't wanna bend it, I wanna break it, Break past all numbness Bone muted complacence, I wanna break past cold fusion And see the dawn from new angles, Holy war cultural arson, Make war against pavements, Fuck being civilized, I didn't survive this long, To be polite to the cannibal and their creation, I didn't wait this long To be stuck with myself again I didn't fight this hard To be lost in my head again, Wanting nothing more than to be spared all these pleasantries I want to break free and then break free from freedom I want to come loose and then be tied I wanna know... What are you doing tonight?
11.
Stone Forest 02:17
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The halls and hallowed branches Of the stone forest Near the mountains edge, Trails over trains, And turns over turns, I bless with a kiss And walk away, Wishing there were other Shapes or faces here, Invading my perceptions, Praying you'd leave As gone as you already are, This face of a cemetery, Walking and mumbling inchoate Parables about the past, I long to be free of you, To turn away and no longer Wish I had one last word, To believe I am no longer bleeding From when I cut myself In front of you To no longer see myself As your Sacrificial lamb, To burn your forest to the ground But it's made of stone. I long to hate you, But I pity you too deeply. I long to plant a new forest, But there's no room to grow If I let you suffocate my gardens As they enter ground. I utter new prayers To the darkness you left In my absence; I shed new colors In regress to the places That we treaded. I paint your forest Gold and titanium white And sapphire. I only want you once To look at me And see how far away I am From the ghost You remember.
12.
Symphony, Eventually 04:20
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I knew I'd meet you, Somehow, a glimpse into your eyes, The catch of your teeth The wrinkles in your cheeks, Reminded me of dancing with you In a dream I'd had, And I loved you, In defiance Of my other instincts Which warned me Of hidden danger; I, by no means, suspected Instant gratification, And by no means did I Imagine folly or Half the joy you would bring me, Only did I know That I had danced with you That you were worth the time It would take To learn to dance with you, And only that I would fall in love, Quite recklessly. I wanna look back, Tell stories about today, Pick up all our pieces, Hear what they all have to say, I wanna hold on And I hope your here to stay I can't find the end of you And I can't find your starting place Would you play that melody, That song that took a part of me? Bring me into harmony With whatever we're meant to be And I will write you a symphony Maybe, probably, eventually, Try and find some harmony With whatever we're meant to be And if I die Than what have I lost In gaining what I have gained, Or gained In losing what I have lost? And if not gained or lost, Then what is death, but the balance To the equation, Birth plus x to the power of Decision, minus perception, Death, then, being the root Of decision, The inverse of our perception, What I have I gained or lost but Balance. w I wanna know you In every single place That I spent looking for you That I tried to save the day Living in our stormfront As the clouds all turn to fray Come inside and talk to me And lets blow these storms away Would you play that melody, That song that took a part of me? Bring me into harmony With whatever we're meant to be And I will write you a symphony Maybe, probably, eventually, Try and find some harmony With whatever we're meant to be. Take me back to the place that I was born Realign this heart, oh so long it has been torn Can we take a chance, never give the past a second glance, Remember how we were before? Oh that was gone so fast. Would you play that melody, That song that took a part of me? Bring me into harmony With whatever we're meant to be And I will write you a symphony Maybe, probably, eventually, Try and find some harmony With whatever we're meant to be
13.
Rest 02:50
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We climbed the hill up behind the camp To start a fire and to rest our heads We knelt together into the darkness Sharing stories and breaking bread And I was hanging on to every word Thinking how did I become so blessed? Even when we start to feel unsteady, I will always give my best And don't you worry, don't you ever think, That you're alone in the fight ahead Cause you know I'd hold you all night long If it meant that you could get some rest. All of the battles that we fight at present They will soon be in the past; All the machines that they've built to kill us They will soon run out of gas. We'll be standing even through the night time When the world has done its best. Even if Donald Trump becomes president We will still have each other's backs. And don't you worry, don't you ever think, That you're alone in the fight ahead Cause you know I'd hold you all night long If it meant that you could get some rest.
14.
Angel Wings 03:45
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Darling will you wait for me? Burn your midnight gasoline, Steady just like dramamine, I swear that I'll be there. Waiting in my dreams to see You coming down with angel wings, Tell me all your secret things, Tell me what you want Tell me what you want Your breaths are all like poetry Your kiss just like a song You've become a part of me Nothing could go wrong. Tell me when we're eighty-three, Will you still love what's left of me? Spread your shining angel wings, Rising like the dawn. Tell me what you want.

about

One day, I met this really cute girl at a research fair, and forgot her name twice before I finally figured it out after talking to her for about a week and a half. I then told her I had a crush on her, ran away, and about two weeks later we started dating. This album is dedicated to that girl. Her name is uhm...I think...uhm...Sophie or...something like that...? To be honest, I've really just been trying to figure out a chill way to mention that I forgot her name again. But she's really cool, whoever she is.

We still haven't gone out for any nice french desserts yet. That may sound like a double entendre, but actually, at the time, I just happened to think of chocolate croissants and macaroons as a really classy dessert date thing, and that's where that came from.

There's a small amount of adult language in this album, including such words as, "High", "Shit" and "Fuck", in that exact order. I decided it was time for my style to mature, so I figured I should start saying at least three bad words to every album.

If you've been listening for a while, then you know the last few albums were done on an iPhone. An iPhone? Wow Timmy, what a typical millennial, recording music on your iPhone. Well sorry folks, this album, you could say, is a lot more high tech. Not only did I record it on an iPad, but I "mastered it" (meaning I tried to make it louder) in Audacity.

I know what you're thinking. "Wow! This album is really edgy, and super cool." Right?! Seriously, I'm pretty impressed with myself. Outsourcing this whole thing to China really went well. But guess what else? It also has two songs in the exotic time signatures 5/4 and 6/8. That's why, if you look closely, I tagged myself as alternative twice in my bandcamp description. I'm not just alternative. I'm alternative alternative.

If you like this album, share it with your facebook friends. And, of course, your Twitterati, Pinterest-pals, Instagrammies, Slack colleagues, Tumblr followers, Reddit boards, 4chan flame wars, radical socialist Meetup groups, job search websites, Tindr matches, youtube comment sections, and pornhub subscribers.

credits

released December 23, 2016

Album art by Sophia Faraday
Instruments and Production by Timmy Vilgiate

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Tim Vigilante Austin, Texas

Tim Vigilante (they/them) has been recording music since 2011. Their influences include Arcade Fire, Anathallo, Listener Project, John Cage, and Adriana Calcanhotto. They are a Virgo Sun, Cancer Moon, Aquarius Rising.

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